'Is it possible to reproduce, later in life, the impact that books,
records and films have between the ages of fourteen and seventeen?
The periods of my adult life that have been most miserable have been those
in which I lost fidelity to what I discovered then ...' [1]
I.
Having now read the opening three parts of Mark Fisher's k-punk - his collected and unpublished writings from the period 2004 - 2016 - I have a pretty good idea of his taste in books, music, film and television, and if I were to compile a short index of his favourite authors, pop stars, and directors it would certainly include the following names:
J. G. Ballard, Jean Baudrillard, William Burroughs, Ian Curtis (Joy Division), David Cronenberg, Bryan Ferry (Roxy Music), Fredric Jameson, Franz Kafka, Jacques Lacan, Nick Land, Dennis Potter, Simon Reynolds, Mark E. Smith (The Fall), Spinoza, and Slavoj Žižek.
That means - to paraphrase Barthes - that whilst we share certain points of reference, his body is not my body and in order to enjoy his work I have to overcome a certain irritation and remain silent and polite when confronted by ideas and tastes which I do not share [2].
II.
I suppose everyone has favourite books, records, films and TV shows.
But very few people are affected so profoundly as Fisher was affected by those books, records, films and tv shows that he encountered in his adolescence and which - woven deep into his consciousness - stayed with him throughout his life and gave shape and meaning to his own work.
As D. H. Lawrence writes of the nonconformist hymns that, despite their banality, meant so much to him, we might say of those post-punk songs that Fisher continued to adore at forty just as he had at fourteen; "there has been no crystallising out [...] no hardening into commonplace" [3] - they still fill him with an experience of joy and wonder (despite now also having a sophisticated theoretical appreciation of their genius).
That's why Fisher is more than simply an excellent critic; he has retained his sense of wonder. When the sense of wonder has gone out of a man, says Lawrence, he may still possess the most marvellous intelligence, but he is essentially dead inside.
III.
The fact that Fisher retained his experience of wonder - understood as an openness to that which lies beyond standard perception and cognition - explains also why he was so highly sensitive to the weird and the eerie [4].
Indeed, I would argue that Fisher's hauntological fascination for the past - particularly for lost futures - was also born of wonder, not mere nostalgia, and that while capitalist realism acts as a pervasive grey curtain of apathy, boredom and depression, a sense of wonder enables us to rip small holes in it (thus letting in a little speckled chaos).
As mentioned earlier, I don't share all of Fisher's loves and hates - or even most of them; from the above index there are only two or three names that I would add to my own list of favourites and some whom I have no interest in at all.
However, I do agree with him on the importance of continuing to read the books, play the records, and watch the films and TV shows that meant so much to us as youths, in order that 'worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of wonder implanted in the teenage soul' [5].
Notes
[1] Mark Fisher, k-punk: The Collected and Unpublished Writings of Mark Fisher (2004 -2016), ed. Darren Ambrose (Repeater Books, 2018), p. 24.
[2] See the fragment titled 'J'aime, je n'aime pas' in Roland Barthes by Roland Barthes, trans. Richard Howard (Papermac, 1995), pp. 116-117.
Readers who want to know my favourite novels, films, pop songs, and sitcoms should visit the TTA Index page and go to the posts listed under 'These Are a Few of My Favourite Things ...'
[3] D. H. Lawrence, 'Hymns in a Man's Life', in Late Essays and Articles, ed. James T. Boulton (Cambridge University Press, 2004), pp. 130-131.
[4] See Fisher's book The Weird and the Eerie (Repeater Books, 2016). And to read the first part of a two-part post on the book, click here.
[5] I'm paraphrasing Goethe in Wilhelm Meister's Apprenticeship (1795-96).
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