That Time I Met Mr Pickle ...

 

I. 

 

One of my favourite scenes in The Great Rock 'n' Roll Swindle (1980) is the closing animated sequence in which McLaren and his motley crew are all aboard the good ship Venus and Johnny Rotten, having been found guilty of collaboration, is forced to walk the plank. 

 

Abandoned by his shipmates, the singer finds himself literally all at sea where he is soon swallowed by a great white shark with the Virgin logo clearly visible on its fin [1].    

 

This scene replayed itself in my mind when, in 1983, the Virgin Group acquired Charisma Records (although it wouldn't be until 1986 that the latter was fully digested by the former; still maintaining at least a measure of independence until then). 

 

So, let us say that I was not a fan of Richard Branson and would laugh at Malcolm's stories about this hippie entrepreneur whom he vehemently disliked and derisively called Mr Pickle (either intentionally or mistakenly confusing the surname with that of an English food brand made by Crosse & Blackwell since 1922) [2].  

 

 

II. 

 

I first met Mr Pickle when, as a Charisma employee, I was sent an invitation by him and the directors of the Virgin Group to attend a party at the Manor, in Oxfordshire, to celebrate the first anniversary of Virgin Atlantic.  

 

The Manor, for those who might not know, was a recording studio housed in a 17th century Grade II listed building that had been bought by Branson in 1971, for £30,000, when he was only twenty-one years of age. It was where Mike Oldfield famousy recorded his precious Tubular Bells (1973) [3].

 

As pretty much everyone from Charisma was going to go, I decided I'd also (somewhat begrudgingly) accept Branson's invitation. And here, for those who may be interested, is my memory of the day based on an entry in the Von Hell Diaries dated 22 June, 1985 ... 

 

 

III. 

 

Unsure what to wear, I decided to go with the pink check suit I bought two years ago and which I've kept hanging in my closet - unworn - ever since. After my friend Andy arrived, we went over to pick Lee Ellen up from her place in Chelsea. Then cabbed it over to Kensal House (i.e., Virgin HQ), from where coaches transported everyone to the Manor. 

      Those of us from the Famous Charisma Label were segregated from the Virgin staff and we were seated as a group at the back of the bus. As Robin had kindly brought along several bottles of wine, however, no one seemed to mind about that and, amusingly, we were soon making twice as much noise as the Virginians on board (to be fair, perhaps that's why we were placed at the back of the bus).  

       The Manor was an impressive country pile (provided you have the capacity to be impressed by an assemblage of bricks) and set in very beautiful grounds that included trees, lakes, swimming pools, tennis courts, etc. Mr Pickle was there to meet and greet us personally as we got off the bus. 

      There were three large tents erected and Branson had laid on copious amounts of food and drink as well as various entertainments that one could sign up for, including horse riding and helicopter flights. But I was more interested in Shelley's friend Claire to be honest. Unfortunately, I ruined my chances with her when I split my lip open swigging champagne straight from the bottle. Note to future self: spitting blood à la Sid Vicious is probably not the most attractive look. 

      Ultimately, it was a dull event - even with the odd pop star in attendance - and the weather didn't help (typical English summer's day - wet and chilly). Glad when the coaches turned up to take us back to London. Mr Pickle dutifully came over to say goodbye and shake everyone's hand for a second time: very much Lord of the Manor. And very much not to be trusted ... [4]    

  

 

 

Not to the manor born ... Andy Greenfield and myself 

The Manor Studio (22 June 1985)

 

 

Notes

 

[1] I have written about this scene in a post published on 4 March 2024: click here. 

 

[2] Use of this nickname is confirmed by Paul Gorman in The Life and Times of Malcolm McLaren (Constable, 2020), p. 355. 

      Gorman's assessment of Branson is one I fully endorse; essentially, a very clever businessman from a privileged background who knew a good opportunity when he saw one and had "cultivated a knack of appropriating aspects of youth culture to his commercial gain" (ibid., p. 356). 

 

[3] The idea of building a luxurious home recording studio was still novel at this time; the Manor was only the third such studio in the UK. Oldfield recorded his debut studio album at the Manor in 1972-73 and it was the first album released on the Virgin Records label (25 May 1973). 

      In April 1995, after the takeover of Virgin Records by EMI, the Manor was closed as a recording studio and the building, listed for sale in 2010 at £5.75 million, is now the country home of some toff or other.   

 

[4] Lee Ellen, Robin, and Shelley all worked at Charisma (in the press office, accounts, and A&R department respectively). The final line is my recalling McLaren's famous advice given to Helen in The Swindle: 'Never trust a hippie'.   

 

 

Dancing a Sailor's Hornpipe with Legs & Co.

 

The girls of Legs & Co. on Blue Peter 

 (BBC Television, 14 Jan 1980) [1]

 

I.  

 

There are numerous variations of the hornpipe, both in terms of dance movements and musical composition. But, in one form or another, it has been performed in Great Britain and Ireland from at least the 16th century [2] until the present day, bringing great joy to one and all.  

 

Interestingly, however, although the hornpipe is today commonly associated with sailors, it didn't become firmly linked in the popular imagination with seamen and seafarers until after 1740, when a popular dancer famously performed a hornpipe dressed as a Jolly Jack Tar at Drury Lane Theatre. 

 

The fact that even members of the Royal Navy were soon copying this routine on board ship - with its famous movements mimicking nautical tasks such as hauling ropes, climbing the rigging, and looking out to sea - is yet another example of life imitating art [3]. 

 

Perhaps surprisingly, captain's would encourage - and sometimes even order - their men to dance the hornpipe, as the exercise kept them in good health when at sea and living in cramped conditions; just as a daily tot of rum kept their spirits up.  

 

 

II.  

'The Sailor's Hornpipe' is a traditional melody that some readers will know from the Last Night of the Proms, when it is played as part of Sir Henry Wood's Fantasia on British Sea Songs (1905). 

 

Others will recognise it from the Popeye cartoons, where it is usually played as the first part of the opening credits before then being segued into an instrumental version of Sammy Lerner's famous theme 'I'm Popeye the Sailor Man' (1933). 

 

And others will know it from the BBC children's show Blue Peter [4], whose famous signature tune is a hornpipe known by the title 'Barnacle Bill' and written by Herbert Ashworth-Hope, but which between 1979 and 1989 used Mike Oldfield's updated version entitled 'Blue Peter' [5].   

 

 

III. 

 

Now, as readers might probably guess: I don't much care for Mike Oldfield and his Tubular Bells (1973). Nor did I ever watch Blue Peter as a child, preferring the funkier ITV show Magpie [6]. 

 

However, I do like Legs & Co. ... 

 

And their interpretation of Oldfield's version of a sailor's hornpipe - seen first on Top of the Pops in December 1979 [click here] and then on Blue Peter in January 1980 [click here] - wearing extremely fetching sailor outfits that dispensed with trousers but included skimpy bright blue knickers to match with belts and neckerchiefs, ranks amongst their most memorable of performances. 

  

Notes

 

[1] The six girl dance troupe Legs & Co. is composed of Gill Clark, Lulu Cartwright, Patti Hammond, Pauline Peters, Rosie Hetherington, and Sue Menhenick. 

 

[2] The National Maritime Museum traces the hornpipe which, as we will see, hasn't always been associated with sailors and dancing on deck, all the way back to the late 14th century; there are references to the hornpie as instrument - from which the dance takes its name - in Chaucer, for example. See the museum's website: click here. 

 

[3] The idea of life imitating art is a philosophical position most famously put forward by Oscar Wilde in his essay 'The Decay of Lying (1891). It reverses Aristotle's notion of mimesis which argues that art is a representation of life. 

 

[4] Blue Peter is a long-running BBC children's television programme with a nautical title and theme. Due to its longevity, it has established itself as a significant part of British culture and heritage. 

 

[5] Mike Oldfield's version of the Blue Peter theme was the first time the original arrangement had changed since the programme began in 1958. Released as a single on Virgin Records in November 1979, it reached number 19 in the UK charts. For those who might be interested, the official video can be viewed here. 

 

[6] See the post entitled 'Reflections on Seeing a Magpie' (2 December 2024): click here. 

 

 

For a sister post to this one on how watching girls dance makes happy (published 31 May 2015): click here.