Ticked Off (Reflections on an Idyllic Essex Crime Scene)

An Idylillic Essex Crime Scene 

(SA/2023)

 

 

I. 

 

Yesterday, whilst taking a walk in what remains of and passes for the great outdoors, I came across what appeared to be an idyllic crime scene, all sealed off with blue-and-white police tape instructing people not to cross.

 

There was no indication of what had happened and no one to ask why my route was barred in this manner. So, returning home, I decided to investigate ... 

 

According to a local news site, it seems that a number of parks and green spaces in Essex have been designated as danger zones and thus closed to the public. 

 

But what is it, you might ask, that so threatens the health and safety of walkers: are there wolves in the woods; are there big cats lurking in the long grass? 

 

No: apparently, we are being protected from ticks! 

 

What next: will we be sent alerts on our phones everytime someone spots a wasp in the area? 

 

 

II. 

 

In the view of Havering Council, residents are at severe risk of being infected with Lyme disease, cases of which are rising across the UK, but particularly in the South East counties of England, including Essex. 

 

Now, without wanting to downplay or dismiss the seriousness of this vector-borne disease - caused by the Borrelia bacterium and spread by the hard-bodied, black-legged deer tick - I do think locking down the countryside and virtually declaring a state of emergency, is something of an overreaction (one which, sadly, we became all-too-familiar with during the Covid pandemic).  

 

As there was only around 1,500 laboratory confirmed cases of Lyme disease in the UK last year, one suspects that the local council has ulterior motives; namely, they wish to exterminate (or at least radically reduce in number) the deer population - a move which would be popular with many Havering residents, including this anonymous blogger who wrote:

 

Herds of deer are picturesque to look at, but, without natural predators, they breed rapidly and not only cause road accidents, damage gardens and property, but present an actual health hazard due to the ticks living on them. As delightful as we might find them, deer are wild animals and have no place in an urban environment, interacting with humans and spreading potentially deadly diseases.

 

Personally, I'm happy to keep the deer - and the foxes and the badgers - and, yes, even the ticks; it's fearful councillors and cold-hearted cunts like the blogger above whom I would like to get rid of.    

 

 

The Black-Legged Tick 

(SA/2023)