Healthy Body, Healthy Mind: Notes on NHS Values

A touching expression of ontological gratitude ... 

or a sinister form of zen fascism?

 

 

I. 

 

Anyone who has recently visited a UK hospital will doubtless be as astonished as I was by the amount of time, effort, and money that is put into the promotion of so-called NHS values, which, essentially, reduce to three key terms: respect, equality, and compassion. 

All fair enough, you might think. But at Queen's Hospital, in Romford, Essex [1] - which happens to be my local hospital - they have really gone to town and decided to expand upon the NHS vision, wildly proliferating values in what might almost be described as a metastatic manner. 

 

This is illustrated by the above poster, designed by a team determined to list as many moral adjectives as they can think of, in order to thank patients, visitors, and staff for being (amongst other things) human, obliging one to wonder who or what they feared they might encounter stalking the wards. 

 

Personally - and for the record - I've no objection to being treated by a robot, an alien, or a highly trained chimp, provided they are competent and go about their business with the minimum of fuss. 

 

And not only do I not care if they lack the (all too) human touch, but I don't expect them to be fun either; there are far too many idiots in far too many professional roles - doctors, teachers, trendy vicars and tubby office managers - posing as chilled out entertainers.    

 

 

II. 

 

But who is responsible for this zen fascist propaganda - or The Pride Way [2] - in our hospitals?

 

Well, in my region - Barking, Havering and Redbridge - the team responsible for teaching, coaching and empowering staff in The Pride Way is called the Kaizen Promotion Office. Based at Queen's Hospital, but working across all Trust sites, the KPO are dedicated to excellence and have adopted their methodology from the Virginia Mason Institute (part of the Virginia Mason Medical Centre in Seattle):

 

"Our KPO Team of specialists have been trained and mentored in The Pride Way tools and methodologies, and these tools have in turn been taught to others in the Trust through the many training and support opportunities provided by the Team, through both formal and informal training, coaching, Rapid Process Improvements Workshops (RPIW) and Kaizen events." [3]     

 

This way of speaking, thinking, and working could, of course, only have roots in the United States. And so now everything begins to make sense ...

 

The irony is that the British people pride themselves on the (supposedly) unique nature of their health care system and fear it being sold off to the Americans. But the latter - over-paid, over-earnest, and over-keen on woke corporate bullshit - are already over here ...    

 

 

Notes 

[1] Along with King George Hospital, in Goodmayes, Queen's Hospital is part the of Barking, Havering and Redbridge NHS University Hospitals Trust which also operates a number of clinics at sites in the surrounding areas. 

[2] PRIDE is an acronym for the values and behaviours which staff at BHR hospitals are expected to embody: Passion, Responsibility, Innovation, Drive, and Empowerment. To learn more about how these terms are being used, visit https://www.bhrhospitals.nhs.uk/our-vision-and-values/ 

 

[3] I'm quoting from https://www.bhrhospitals.nhs.uk/the-pride-way/

 

 

On Being an Odonto-Medical Wonder

Stephen Alexander:  

The Colour of Pain (2021)

 

 

I. 

 

The first post published on Torpedo the Ark was entitled Reflections on the Loss of UR6; a poem in which I considered the violent act of tooth extraction and the subsequent sense of trauma as your tongue probes the empty space where once a molar had been. 

 

What the post didn't mention, however, was that the verse was based on an actual incident. Nor does it inform readers that the tooth extracted - UR6 - possessed such an unusually deep and powerful root that my dentist had real problems removing it (much to her professional embarrassment). 

 

Indeed, the root was of such an unusual length and size that it and the tooth were featured in a dental journal.

 

 

II. 

 

I was reminded of this latter fact recently whilst sitting having my lower right leg photographed and filmed with professional equipment in the Emergency Department at Queen's Hospital, for possible use in a medical journal and/or as teaching material for medical students. 

 

Not that there's anything particularly interesting or aesthetically pleasing about my leg as a limb in itself. But the swelling, deep bruising, and inflammation, is, apparently, of a highly unusual and perplexing nature; it could be superficial thrombophlebitis; it might simply be an infection of some kind or a ruptured vein; or it may betray a DVT - even though the position is all wrong. 

 

(No one wanted to mention the AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccine, though this remained an unspoken subtext.)

 

Whatever the cause, I signed a consent form agreeing that images of the discoloured leg could be used in a case study and I find that my discomfort is lessened by the knowledge that my unidentified limb - just like my anonymous tooth - serves the cause of medical science in some small way. 

 

Now pass those pre-filled syringes so I can inject an anticoagulant into my stomach ...