Eroticism in Man and Bed Bug

A pair of bed bugs sharing affections

Sexual conflict is not uncommon within the animal kingdom; male and female organisms often having violently antagonistic reproductive strategies, particularly when it comes to the mode and frequency of fucking. This has resulted in the evolution of weaponized genitalia, toxic sperm, forced copulation, and a particularly unpleasant practice known as traumatic insemination.  

Also known as hypodermic insemination, this potentially fatal mating practice is one favoured by some species of invertebrates, including the common bed bug. The unfortunate female insect is penetrated through her protective exoskeleton by the sharpened penis of the male who then injects his sperm through the gash directly into her abdominal cavity. 

Although this might result in a successful fertilization of her eggs, the procedure is, as might be imagined, detrimental to the well being of the female. For not only does it leave an open wound which is susceptible to bleeding and infection, but the ejaculation of fluids into the hemocoel can trigger a serious immune reaction.

Why bed bugs have evolved to reproduce in this manner is uncertain. It has been suggested that traumatic insemination may have arisen as an adaptation amongst males looking to circumvent female resistance and eliminate the need for time-consuming courtship rituals; or that it evolved as a means to deposit sperm as close as possible to the ovaries.    

Whatever the cause of this practice, the result, ultimately, is a significantly increased mortality rate amongst female bed bugs. And, eventually, this results in the extinction of entire colonies. 

Not that male members of the genus Afrocimex seem unduly worried about this. Indeed, if there are no females to fuck, then they resort to same sex penetration; the injected seminal fluid migrating to the testes of the feminized male where it is absorbed and thus, if nothing else, giving them a nutrient-rich meal for their pains. 

And the point of this post ...?

Well, it's always fun to show how God moves in mysteriously cruel ways. Further, it's important to remember the violent and malevolent truth of sex; that it's never really good, clean, healthy fun, no matter what doe-eyed lovers with their scented candles may care to believe. Ultimately, love is war by other means.

As for my friend who is currently pestering her boyfriend to have genital beads inserted along the shaft of his penis so that his cock might better resemble her favourite vibrating dildo, I say: Be careful what you wish for ...