Showing posts with label joan collins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joan collins. Show all posts

13 Dec 2024

What Was I Thinking? (13 December)

Torpedo the Ark: images from posts published on 
13 December (2014-2023)
 
 
Apart from 2012, 2013, 2019, 2020, and 2022, I have published a post on this date on Torpedo the Ark in every year since its inception. And sometimes, it can be instructive to look back and see what one was thinking and how things may have changed since ...
 
 
Carry On Facesitting (13 Dec 2014) 

This perfectly innocent post is, I discover, another now placed behind a sensitive content warning by the censor-morons who police things for Blogger (which has been owned and hosted by Google since 2003): is it something I said in the text, is it the accompanying image, or is it both? 
 
I don't know. And Google will not say: they simply refer you to their community guidelines and then invite you to identify your own wrongdoing, rectify the situation, and then republish the post in the hope that, after an official review, you'll be allowed to keep it up and that it will be freely accessible to readers. 

For the record: the post is fine as is and I do not intend to make any changes to it. It does not advocate facesitting, although, even if it did, this is not a criminal activity and harms no one.
 
Rather, the post simply reported on a good-natured and somewhat comical protest outside Parliament by sex workers, freedom-loving perverts, and various interested and/or sympathetic parties against new legislation that prohibits the depiction of certain kinky (but nonetheless perfectly legal) acts between consenting adults.
 
It amazed me then and amazes me now, that the UK government might spend its time opposing activities such as facesitting - or regulating the size of dildos - on the (spurious) grounds of health and safety. As one of the organisers of the protest pointed out, the new laws are not only anti-queer, but also inherently sexist, as many of the activities discriminated against are ones that afford specifically female pleasure and empowerment. 
 
 
On the Truth of Things (13 Dec 2015) 
 
Whilst conceding that questions concerning politics and psychagogy are philosophically interesting and that one must invariably return to them at some point, for me, back in 2015 - in my object-oriented days - I was more enthralled by those entities that make up an inhuman and non-human universe and encourage the posing of questions that do not always posit Man as the central subject or final solution.
 
In other words - and I still think this now - the beauty and the truth of things is precisely that they exist mind independently and it's a real joy to occasionally write about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens (not to mention bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens), rather than just human ideas and human relations.
 
 
 
It strikes me that the depressing thing about a long-term health condition, is that it lowers your expectations of what constitutes a good life; one is suddenly pleased merely to experience a pain-free day.  

On the other hand, convalescence is a vital phenomenon and so sometimes one welcomes being sick, so that one can, as Heidegger would say, return home to oneself and one's destiny - which of course is death (as all being is a being-towards death). 
 
That being the case, it's not surprising that when ill in bed back on December 13th, 2016 my thoughts should turn to the question of how best to dispose of that most accursed of all objects, one's own corpse. After considering several of the main methods, including cremation, inhumation, and immurement, I decided that a Tibetan sky burial - in which one is literally fed to the vultures - was the most attractive option.  
 
 
 
Not one, but two posts on the theme of kissing Hitler published on the same day back in 2017 - what was I thinking, indeed! Perhaps there's some truth in Godwin's law after all ...

Although, as a matter of fact, the first post - 'Some Like It Hot' - was more about Tony Curtis (and what it was like to share an on-screen smooch with Marilyn Monroe), than about Hitler as a recipient of amorous affection. 
 
The second post, however, did look somewhat deeper into Hitler's love life - something that has long been subject to critical and clinical analysis, as well as sensational speculation and obscene rumour. I arrived at the conclusion that, ultimately, it was a pity that Hitler wasn't more of a libertine and less of a Nazi; it's always better to make love rather than war, no matter how perversely one may choose to do so.      
 

 
The case of the young American poet Ailey O'Toole - which caused a bit of fuss in certain literary circles - still interests me and I still feel that Ms. O'Toole has nothing to apologise for or feel ashamed about and that she was treated poorly by moralists defending bourgeois (and untenable) notions of intellectual property.
 
For the fact remains, very few poets invent neologisms; and even fewer have original thoughts or feelings. They essentially rearrange the words of a shared language and play with the ideas and emotions of the culture to which they belong. It's an art - and it can produce amazing results - but poetry is never a personal or private matter, no matter how idiosyncratic one's writing style. 
 
As Roland Barthes would argue, the poem-as-text is neither representative of a non-linguistic reality, nor expressive of an author's unique being. It's explainable only through other words that are also drawn from a pre-given, internalised dictionary. Every poem is, in a sense, already a copy of a copy of a copy whose origin is forever lost and meaning infinitely deferred. 
 
Wherever she is today - and whatever she's doing - I send Ms. O'Toole kind regards and warm wishes.  
 
 
 
Michel Tournier was the writer I loved reading most in the winter of 2020-21 and I wrote over twenty posts inspired by (or referencing) his work in this period. 
 
This includes the above post, in which I offered a series of notes on a collection of stories originally published in French under the title Le Coq de Bruyère (1978) and which offered a queer and often disconcerting dip into the world of the sordid supernatural (to borrow the author's own description).  
 
Those who enjoy philosophically-informed fiction that explores the porno-mythic imagination and accelerates what Jonathan Dollimore terms the perverse dynamic, will like this book - and like it a lot. Other readers, who don't enjoy such fiction, probably won't like it so much (but then, such people probably aren't spending time on this blog either). 

 
 
I love felines: but I'm not so keen on canids. 
 
That said, I was happy to discover back in December 2021 that the number of golden jackals - small wolf-like animals, about three times the size of a red fox - have been rapidly expanding in number and increasing their range in recent decades. 
 
Apparently, you can now find jackals living, hunting, and howling in many parts of Central and Northeastern Europe and it has been estimated by the IUCN that whilst there may be fewer than 17,000 wolves left in Europe, there are around 117,000 jackals - and the more the merrier, I say, although, of course, all the usual suspects - such as farmers - raise their familiar objections. 
 
Sadly, therefore, these intelligent and sociable animals continue to be hunted in many countries; one can only invoke the great jackal-headed god Anubis to bite off the hands and tear out the throats of those who harm them (some think that capital punishment for deliberate cruelty to animals is a bit extreme, but I'm not one of them). 
 
 
 
Finally, on December 13th last year, I discussed how, as I get older, my desire is increasingly tied to nostalgia and has effectively become a type of spectrophilia; i.e., sexual attraction to ghosts, or, as in my case, the haunting images of dead actresses from the 1960s and '70s. 
 
This includes Sue Lloyd, who guest starred in many much loved English TV shows during this period, but is perhaps best remembered today for her long-running role as as Barbara Hunter (née Brady) in the British soap opera Crossroads.
 
A former dancer and model, Miss Lloyd also appeared in a number of films; performing alongside Michael Caine in The Ipcress File (1965) and Joan Collins in The Stud (1978), for example.  
 
But what I like most about Miss Lloyd is not her acting credentials, but the fact she exuded the kind of dazzling beauty and sexual sophistication of the older woman which excited me as an adolescent and continues to work its magic some 50 years later. 
 
 

17 Jan 2024

Lady Godiva Rides Again (In Memory of Pauline Stroud)

Lady Godiva Rides Again (dir. Frank Launder, 1951)
 
 
I. 
 
There are many reasons to value this 1951 British comedy about an unsophisticated and impressionable young waitress who enters the slightly seedy and somewhat sinister world of showbiz after appearing as Lady Godiva - the Anglo-Saxon noblewoman who became legendary for riding naked through the streets of Coventry - in her home town's annual pageant and then winning the Miss Fascination Soap beauty contest (first prize: a cheque for £1000; a mink coat; and a film contract).

For one thing, the sexual politics of the period fascinate and appal in equal measure and remind us why raising awareness around issues to do with the sexual harassment, abuse, and exploitation of women in the entertainment industry (and, indeed, wider world of work) is something that we should all be sympathetic towards. 
 
For another thing, it has a fabulous cast in both lead and supporting roles, including George Cole, Sid James, and Britain's very own blonde bombshell Diana Dors as Dolores August [1]. Further, there are a number of amusing cameo appearances by the likes of Alastair Sim and Dora Bryan. 
 
The film also allows 18-year-old Joan Collins to make her (uncredited) screen debut as a beauty contestant, alongside the nightclub hostess Ruth Ellis, also playing a nameless beauty contestant, who - as I'm sure readers will know - was hanged for the murder of her lover, the racing driver David Blakely, in 1955.     
 
 
II. 
 
Finally, I would like to give a particular mention to the star of the film, 21-year-old Pauline Stroud - the very lovely English actress who, sadly, died, aged 92, a couple of years ago. 
 
She lights up the film and the casting directors made an excellent decision in giving her the role of Marjorie Clark ahead of the hundreds of other young women who chased the part; including Miss Dors and Miss Collins, and, somewhat surprisingly, Audrey Hepburn [2]
 
According to her friend Olive Simpson, writing in an obituary for The Guardian
 
"Lady Godiva should have been the first film in a five-year contract but, by the time it was released, Pauline had become engaged to Peter Lemos, member of a wealthy Greek ship-owning family, and he did not wish to share her with the cinema-going public. She ended the engagement, but not before the contract was broken and her career prospects damaged." [3] 
 
Arguably, Pauline's engagement to Peter Lemos mirrors Marjorie's marriage in the film to a wealthy Australian businessman (Larry Burns, played by John McCallum). 
 
Like Lemos, Burns also puts the kibosh on a young woman's wish to forge an independent life as an actress. After rescuing Marjorie from appearing nude on stage as part of a French revue, he whisks her off Down Under and, before you know it, she's a wife and mother [4].
 



Notes
 
[1] I can't say I'm a huge fan of Miss Dors - she always frightened me as a child - but she's excellent in Lady Godiva Rides Again (as she is as Mrs. Rix in one of my favourite episodes of The Sweeney, 'Messenger of the Gods', (dir. Terry Green, 1978)). Interestingly, the film was released in the US with its original title in 1953, but then re-released as Bikini Baby with Miss Dors given star billing. 
 
[2] Miss Hepburn, a West End chorus girl at the time, screen tested for the role, but it was thought her figure was too slim. 
 
[3] Olive Simpson, 'Pauline Stroud obituary', The Guardian (4 Sept 2022): click here.
 
[4] In contrast, Miss Stroud never married and toured in rep and had a number of film and television roles until the 1970s. She then worked for many years as an extra in numerous opera and ballet productions in Covent Garden, a real trouper until the end. 
 
 
To watch an amusing opening scene from Lady Godiva Rides Again (1951), click here


13 Dec 2023

On the Haunting Beauty of Sue Lloyd

Sue Lloyd (1939 - 2011)
 
'The dead they do not die - they seduce from beyond the grave ...'


I. 
 
I mentioned in a recent post written in memory of Brigit Forsyth [1], that, as I get older, I find my desire is increasingly tied to nostalgia and has effectively become a type of spectrophilia - i.e., sexual attraction to ghosts, or, as in my case, the haunting images of dead actresses from the 1960s and '70s (the decades in which I was born and grew up). 
 
One such actress of whom I particularly fond at the moment is Sue Lloyd, who guest starred in many much loved English TV shows during this period, including The Saint (1964 and '67), The Avengers (1965), Department S (1969), Randal and Hopkirk (Deceased) (1970), The Persuaders! (1971), and The Sweeney (1976) [2].
 
Lloyd also regularly appeared as secret agent Cordelia Winfield, alongside Steve Forrest in the British television series The Baron (1965-66), but is perhaps best remembered today for her long-running role as as Barbara Hunter (née Brady) in the British soap opera Crossroads [3].
 
 
II. 
 
Although Lloyd had studied dance as a child and, in 1953, won a scholarship to the Royal Ballet School at Sadler's Wells Theatre, she unfortunately grew just a little too tall (5' 8") to play a swan princess. And so she became a model - even appearing once on the cover of Vogue - and a showgirl, before embarking on an acting career. 
 
Lloyd did also star in a number of films - including alongside Michael Caine in The Ipcress File (1965), Peter Cushing in the cult horror Corruption (1968), and Joan Collins in The Stud (1978) - but I'm not much of a cinephile and really only care (here at least) about her TV work.  
 
But what is it I like so much about Miss Lloyd, I hear you ask ... Well, simply put, she exuded the kind of dazzling beauty and sexual sophistication of the older woman which excited me as an adolescent and continues to work its magic some 50 years later ...
 
As Simon Farquhar writes in his obituary for the star who died in 2011 (aged 72):
 
"There was always something of the ghost of a fading Hollywood glamour queen possessing Sue Lloyd [...] With half-closed eyes, cigarette gravel voice and elegant, haughty poise, she brought an air of smouldering decadence and feline allure to often decidedly mundane productions, as if a world-weary Lauren Bacall was deeming to cross the Atlantic and play with the little people for a while." [4]    
 
 
Notes
 
[1] See the post entitled 'Whatever Happened to the Likely Lasses?' (2 Dec 2023): click here
 
[2] Unlike some other actors, Lloyd was delighted at the cult status much of her television work had acquired, and she happily contributed interviews and commentaries to subsequent DVD releases and responded to fan requests.
 
[3] Lloyd was in Crossroads from 1979 to 1985, so this slightly falls outside the period that interests me and is not really a genre of show that I particularly care for. 

[4] Simon Farquhar, writing in The Independent (30 Oct 2011): click here.