God Save the Black Bears

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and Paddington Bear 

Image: BBC (2022)

 

 

I. 

 

When it comes to animals and royalty, the British are a sentimental people. 

 

So it wasn't surprising that a heartwarming TV sketch during the Platinum Jubilee featuring the Queen and Paddington Bear having tea together at Buckingham Palace, should enchant the entire nation [1].

 

Altogether now, Aahhh ....

 

 

II. 

 

Meanwhile, back in the present (and what remains of and passes for the real world), the Queen is dead and as one observes events surrounding her lying-in-state and funeral, one can't help noticing that the royal guardsmen still like to wear red coats and black bearskins [2].

 

Perhaps if Paddington hadn't been so busy playing the court jester, stuffing his face with marmalade sandwiches and thanking the Queen for everything, he might have found time to speak up on behalf of his Canadian cousins who are still being hunted or trapped and killed in order that British soldiers might look snazzy - this despite the fact that synthetic materials could just as easily be used to make their headgear [3].   

 

But there you go, this fictional South American bear - I think he's supposed to be a spectacled bear from Peru - is, like many other celebrities, only concerned with furthering his own fame and cementing an iconic place within the popular imagination. 

 

As for the Queen, well, apart from the horses and dogs she liked to breed - and game birds she liked to shoot - I'm not sure she had a great deal of interest in creatures great and small.   

 

 

 © PETA

 

 

Notes

 

[1] Readers unfamiliar with the sketch can view it on the Royal Family's very own YouTube channel: click here. I would advise that it's best to do so on an empty stomach.

 

[2] Members of the following units of the British Army are currently authorised to wear the bearskin hat with their full dress: Grenadier Guards, Coldstream Guards, Scots Guards, Irish Guards, Welsh Guards, Royal Scots Dragoon Guards, Honourable Artillery Company, and the King's Royal Hussars. Along with these units, officers of fusilier regiments are also authorised to wear the bearskin as part of their ceremonial uniform, as well as members of certain regimental bands. 

      The standard bearskin is made from the fur of the Canadian black bear; however, an officer's bearskin is made from the fur of the Canadian brown bear, as the female of the species has thicker, fuller fur. Officers' caps thus have to be dyed black. An entire skin is used to manufacture each hat and the Ministry of Defence authorise the purchase of between 50-100 black bear skins each year, at a cost of c. £650 each.

 

[3] As a recent petition signed by over 106,000 people made clear, apart from the magical aspects of using animal skins, there really is no excuse for the MoD to continue funding (with tax payers money) the slaughter of bears in order to produce ceremonial headgear, particularly as a waterproof faux fur alternative is available which mimics real bear fur in appearance and performance. 

      Whilst this topic was debated in Parliament on 11 July of this year, sadly the government's position remains unchanged: there are currently no plans to end the use of bearskins. Readers interested in reading the full response should click here.

 

 

On the Theatre of Royalty

Portrait of King George V 

by Luke Fildes (c. 1911)

 

I.

 

Asked to comment in a TV interview on the pageantry surrounding the Queen's death and Charles's succession to the throne, the English historian David Starkey pointed out that a lot of it is distinctly modern - if not in origin, then in form and character - and belongs not to some golden age of monarchy, but to the era of democracy, advertising, and the entertainment industry.

 

As even the Queen herself recognised, a constitutional monarchy that ultimately serves rather than rules the people, is obliged to put on a show; to be seen so as to be believed. 

 

But what Starkey calls the conscious development of public ceremony could, of course, have involved abandoning the past and attempting to appear bang up to date; away with the horse-drawn carriages and the ancient regalia and in with the royal motorcade and contemporary dress worn even on the most formal of occasions. 

 

 

II.

 

According to Starkey, it was King George V - Queen Elizabeth's grandfather - who was responsible for many of the innovations in royal life that we now think of as ancient and crucial, rather than modern and arbitrary; which is ironic, because George was profoundly conservative and hated modernity in every regard (including its fashions and its technological advances). 

 

Nevertheless, Starkey calls George V a royal revolutionary and argues that his actions - and those of his father before him, King Edward VII - ensured the survival of the monarchy via a renewal of public ceremony [1]. 

 

Let's discuss this in a little more detail ...

 

George's coronation in 1911 is, says Starkey, the most magnificent since the 17th-century, if not even earlier; carefully planned and rehearsed in every detail, it makes the coronation of nineteen-year-old Queen Victoria in 1838 look, in comparison, relatively low key and amateurish - if not, indeed, shambolic.

 

George may not much care for life in the 20th-century, but he's aware of the fact that he must, in the age of Demos, garner popular support and put on a good show combining splendour and discipline, if he's to avoid the fate of his cousin Nicholas in Russia and cousin Wilhelm in Germany. 

 

In other words, monarchy must become performative and professional; the very real threat of revolution was countered with theatricality and, at the same time, a new sense of moral seriousness. George also decides that everything must be anglicised, or, more precisely, de-Germanified. And so the House of Hanover (an imperial German dynasty) becomes the House of Windsor (an English family that is essentially bourgeois in character). 

 

It is a choice of name which, according to Starkey, is a stroke of genius; for Windsor is a name that suggests history, pageantry, and legend (not to mention soap and Shakespeare). The marriage customs of this new Royal House are also novel; from now on, members will be able to marry native Englishmen and women and not be obliged to find German spouses. 

 

Thus, whilst George may hate the modern world, he sees the necessity of conforming to its values. It's his duty to do so - this, aguably, being the word that now best defines the essence of what the Royal Family is all about today. Whereas monarchs of old felt answerable to no one but God, the Windsor's feel it is their duty to serve the nation or the Great British Public.  

 

Which, when you think about it, is about as far as possible from the ancient aristocratic ideal of monarchy - based on sacred authority and divine right - as you can get ... [2]

 

 

Notes

 

[1] Readers who are interested in what Starkey has to say on this subject, can click here to visit his YouTube channel - David Starkey Talks - and enjoy a 45 minute lecture. Part 2 of this post is a (hopefully accurate) summary of some of the fascinating things that Starkey informs us of. 

[2] I touch on this in a recent post discussing the proclaiming of a new king - King Charles III - following the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II, just over a week ago: click here.  

God Save the King ...? The D. H. Lawrence Birthday Post (2022)

The ghost of D. H. Lawrence observes a relaxed-looking King Charles III  

 

 

I.

 

And all across the land, the great cry goes up: God Save the King! 

 

The king in this case being Charles III, who has now been formally proclaimed as monarch following the death of his mother, Queen Elizabeth II. 

 

But, as every year on this day - 11 September - I always like to stop and ask: What would Lawrence think? 

 

II.

 

As with many other subjects, it's not easy to pin Lawrence down when it comes to the question of monarchy. 

 

On the one hand, he was certainly thrilled to see all the king's soldiers stiffly marching past in their red tunics when enjoying a visit to Hyde Park in the summer of 1909. But that might just be a sign of a penchant for pomp and circumstance, or, indeed, of his homoerotic attraction to virile young men in uniform [1].

 

For when Lawrence actually did see a member of the Royal Family up close and personal - namely, Edward, the Prince of Wales, on a visit to Ceylon in March 1922 - he wasn't particularly impressed. In fact, he seemed far more in awe of the ceremonial elephants and naked devil-dancers, than the pale-faced representative of the British Crown [2].

 

As Lawrence's biographer David Ellis notes, Lawrence characterises the future king, in both his verse and correspondence, with terms and phrases such as sad, nervous, irritable, worn out, forlorn, etc. [3]

 

He is particuarly contemptuous of the Prince's motto, Ich dien, and reasserts an older model of kingship based upon the power of rule over - not service to - the people. And that's really the crucial point; Lawrence doesn't much care for modern forms of constitutional monarchy, he wants kings with dark faces and red beards, and who, like the Sons of Enoch, are hung like horses.

 

In a letter to Mabel Sterne, written in April of 1922, Lawrence states:

 

"I don't believe either in liberty or democracy. I believe in actual, sacred, inspired authority: divine right of natural kings: I believe in the divine right of natural aristocracy, the right, the sacred duty to wield undisputed authority." [4]    

 

He develops this line of thinking in several essays from this period [5], as well as the Epilogue (written in September 1924) to Movements in European History (1921). 

 

Whilst conceding that it is bad to have "greedy, cruel people called 'nobles'" and "rich people squandering money and taking airs" [6], Lawrence argues that, at the same time, we long for those who understand the mysterious responsibility of power, such as the ancient kings; men who were not mere bullies or tyrants and whose kingship was "not a matter of vanity and conceit" [7].      

 

 

III. 

 

So, what then would Lawrence make of King Charles III? 

 

Not much, I suspect. 

 

But, who knows, Charles may at least be able to "keep up a bluff of royalty and nobleness" [8] for a bit longer. And then, after him, le déluge ...

 

 

Notes

 

[1] See D. H. Lawrence, 'Guards!', in The Poems, Vol. I, ed. Christopher Pollnitz, (Cambridge University Press, 2013), pp. 34-35. And see also my post on this poem: click here. 

 

[2] See D. H. Lawrence, 'Elephant', in The Poems Vol. I, pp. 338-343. This poem can also be found online: click here, for example.

[3] See David Ellis, D. H. Lawrence: Dying Game 1922-1930, (Cambridge University Press, 1998), p. 16.

[4] D. H. Lawrence, letter to Mabel Dodge Sterne, 10 April 1922, in The Letters of D. H. Lawrence, Vol. IV, ed. Warren Roberts, James T. Boulton and Elizabeth Mansfield, (Cambridge University Press, 1987), p. 226. 

 

[5] See, for example, the essays 'Blessed Are the Powerful' and 'Aristocracy', both of which can be found in Reflections on the Death of a Porcupine and Other Essays, ed. Michael Herbert, (Cambridge University Press, 1988).

 

[6] D. H. Lawrence, Movements in European History, ed. Philip Crumpton, (Cambridge University Press, 1989), p. 261.

 

[7] Ibid., p. 263.    

[8] Ibid., p. 264. 

 

 

For a post published in April of this year in which I discuss Lawrence's reaction to Ceylon, click here. 

 

For another response to presently unfolding royal events in the UK, click here. 

 

Not All Sex Kittens are Catty ...

 

Cover of the French magazine  

Noir et Blanc (12 June 1959)

 

 

Despite the best efforts of the press in the 1950s to create a rivalry between the Hollywood sex symbol Marilyn Monroe and her younger French counterpart Brigitte Bardot, the two - very different [1] - women never came to blows or traded insults.

 

In fact, following their only meeting - in the ladies’ dressing room of the Odeon Leicester Square, for a royal film premier on 29 October, 1956, at which both Bardot and Monroe were formally introduced to the Queen [2] - the former, still only 22, was clearly a little star-struck by the latter, then in her prime. 

 

Many years later, writing in her 1996 autobiography, Bardot confessed that she simply stared at Marilyn, too nervous to speak, other than to shyly say hello: "I found her sublime. She was always for me what every woman, not only me, must dream to be. She was gorgeous, charming, fragile."     

 

She goes on to add: 

 

"I have a lot of things in common with Marilyn and she is very dear to my heart. Both of us had childish souls despite our starlet bodies, an intense sensitivity that can't be hidden, a great need to be protected, a naïveté!" [3]

 

Which really just goes to show that not all sex kittens are catty ...

 

Interestingly, however, a third screen goddess was also present at the royal film performance in 1956; namely, the Swedish actress Anita Ekberg. 

 

As with Bardot, this was the only time that Ekberg's path crossed with that of Marilyn, about whom she once commented in a 1999 Arena documentary on the BBC: "I think she's a good actress: you can't play stupid unless you're very intelligent", which I suppose is a compliment. 

 

But in the same televised interview, Ekberg denies that Bardot was beautiful, insisting she was simply "very pretty [...] like a Barbie doll." [4] 

 

Which shows that some sex kittens are catty after all ...

 

 

Notes

 

[1] Monroe, born in LA in 1926, spent much of her childhood in foster homes and orphanages, before becoming a factory worker; Bardot, on the other hand, was from a solidly middle class Parisian background and trained to become a ballerina. At fifteen, Bardot was invited to pose for the cover of Elle, whilst Marilyn was appearing as a nude pin-up model in rather less respectable magazines. 

      However, both women went on to achieve global fame as movie stars and both, interestingly enough, caught the attention of intellectuals; Monroe married the playwright Arthur Miller in 1956 and Bardot was described by Simone de Beauvoir in her 1959 essay The Lolita Syndrome as the most liberated woman in post-War France.  

 

[2] The film being premiered was The Battle of the River Plate (1956), a British war film by the writer-director-producer team of Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger. The film stars John Gregson, Anthony Quayle, and Peter Finch.     

 

[3] Brigitte Bardot, Initiales B. B.: mémoires, (Grasset, 1996). 

      Note that I'm relying on an anonymous English translation of these lines, so can't vouch for its accuracy. However, I have no reason to doubt such and Bardot makes clear her admiration and affection for Marilyn in an interview posted on YouTube: click here. 

 

[4] To watch the clip from this Arena documentary, directed by Nicola Roberts, in which Ekberg comments on Marilyn Monroe, click here. To watch the clip in which she comments on Brigitte Bardot, click here. 

  

Reflections on Another Jubilee (There's Still No Future in England's Dreaming)

Jamie Reid: sleeve artwork for 'God Save the Queen' 

by the Sex Pistols (Virgin Records, 1977) 

National Portrait Gallery (NPG D48055)

 

 

I.

 

Celebrations to mark the Queen's Platinum Jubilee are set to take place over a special four-day bank holiday weekend from Thursday 2 to Sunday 5 June 2022. 

 

Seeing the Union Jack bunting and hearing all the Gawd bless 'er majesty bullshit reminds me very much of the Silver Jubilee back in the fateful summer of 1977 - the summer of hate as it is sometimes known; i.e., the summer of punk ...

 

II.

Although not old enough to have partied with the Sex Pistols on their notorious jubilee boat trip along the Thames, I was old enough in 1977 to have woken up and realised what side of the bed I was lying on - and it wasn't the side with the red, white and blue sheets.

 

As far as I recall, I was pretty much the only Essex schoolchild who refused to attend (or have anything to do with) the street parties being held on my estate that June. 

 

And my sense of alienation - combined with a long hatred for all the pomp and circumstance surrounding the royal family - meant that I now aligned myself with the Sex Pistols (what this meant in practice was keeping press cuttings about the band, taping 'Pretty Vacant' off the radio [1], and doing my best to perfect a Rotten persona). 

 

The Sex Pistols were the flowers in the dustbin and they were the poison in the human machine, but it was precisely their uncompromising nihilism that made them so attractive; that, and the way they looked [2]. 

 

III. 

 

Finally, while we're on the subject of the Sex Pistols ...

 

Tonight sees the start of Danny Boyle's six-part TV series Pistol - a Disneyfied punk pantomime loosely based on Steve Jones's memoir, in which a kamikaze gang of foul-mouthed yobs is reimagined by a cast of impossibly middle-class actors [3].

 

Were he still with us, I'm sure Malcolm would regard this as a prime example of what he termed karaoke culture [4] - i.e., one lacking in authentic sex, style or subversion.  

 

So, rather than sit through Danny Boyle's load of old bollocks, why not click here to watch a new version of the video for 'God Save the Queen' - one which combines footage shot by Julien Temple at the Marquee in May 1977, with footage of the Thames river boat party (a fun day out which resulted in eleven arrests, including Malcolm's). 

 

 

Notes

[1] I couldn't record 'God Save the Queen', of course, as it was banned from the airwaves. Famously, it was also prevented from getting to number one in the official UK singles chart, although it was the highest selling single during the jubilee week.  

[2] I loved the songs too, but the music was always secondary to the politics, the clothes, and the artwork - which is why I soon came to appreciate that Malcolm was the fabulous architect of chaos and Rotten just another juvenile Bill Grundy. Indeed, he's now something of an admirer of the Queen it appears.

 

[3] For earlier thoughts on Danny Boyle's Pistol click here and here. 

[4] Readers who are interested in this can watch McLaren's TED Talk of October 2009 on authentic creativity versus karaoke culture: click here.