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The Morecambe & Wise Show (1976)
'There are jewels in the crown of England's glory
And every jewel shines a thousand ways ...'
Constance Chatterley - known to her friends and family as Connie, to her servants and social inferiors as Lady Chatterley, and to her lover, Oliver Mellors, as the best bit o' cunt left on earth [1] - is a fictional figure ingrained in our cultural imagination in its broadest sense, forever popping up and stripping off in the literary imagination; the pornographic imagination; the comic imagination; and the popular imagination.
I was recently reminded of this when watching an episode of The Morecambe & Wise Show from January 1976 [2], in which Michele Dotrice (Ooh Betty!) gives us her a version of Connie in a play what Ern wrote entitled 'The Handyman and M'Lady' and which concerns a rich, titled young lady who is deprived of love after her husband has an accident with a combine harvester, unfortunately leaving him impudent.
I was then further reminded of Connie's cultural ubiquity when I happened to come across a video on Youtube of Ian Dury performing a song entitled 'England's Glory', in which he name-checks a few of the jewels (i.e. people and things) that embody all that is best about our national character: click here [3].
I have to admit, it makes me smile to hear Lady Chatterley mentioned after Vera Lynne and Stafford Cripps (just before Muffin the Mule, Winston Churchill and Robin Hood).
But it also makes me think that those in government tasked with coming up with a 'Life in the UK Test' to try and keep out those who know nothing (and care less) about British history and culture, might have used this song for the basis for such.
Although, having said that, the sad truth is that most UK-born citizens under the age of 55 probably have no idea what winkles, Woodbines and Walnut Whips are either; or even who Frankie Howerd and Max Miller were ...
Notes
[1] This charming phrase appears in chapter XII of D. H. Lawrence's scandalous novel Lady Chatterley's Lover. It can be found on p. 177 of the Cambridge edition ed. Michael Squires (1993).
[2] The Morecambe & Wise Show, Series 9: Episode 2, dir. Ernest Maxin, written by Eddie Braben (with additional material by Eric and Ernie). This episode first aired on BBC Television on 21 January, 1976.
[3] 'England's Glory', written by Ian Dury and Rod Melvin, can be found on the album Apples (WEA, 1989): click here. A demo version can also be found on Hit Me! The Best of Ian Dury (BMG, 2020); and a live version is included on the re-issued New Boots and Panties!! (Edsel Records, 2015).
Amusingly, the song was first recorded by Max Wall and released as a single on Stiff Records in 1977. Wall also appeared onstage with Dury at the Hammersmith Odeon in 1978, but was poorly received by the punk audience, until Dury came out and told 'em to show some fucking respect for a legend of British comedy. Those who are interested, can listen to Wall's version of 'England's Glory' by clicking here.
